Learning lessons and moving forward

It's been a month since I've posted here. I'm at a very different place today--emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. I never really thought taking a vacation from all of the Manilow drama would make such a difference in my life, but it has. I've avoided the Manilow Network, the Barrynet, and the other places on the internet where fans spend hours upon hours bashing each other and bickering about things that aren't really important.

While I was gone, Barry visited the UK, appeared on numerous shows as part of his media blitz for his 80's album, released a Christmas single that has climbed to number 6 on the charts, had a Holiday Bash with the fan club and is closing out the year with two marvelous shows. Not to mention numerous fan-related dramas that I happily missed. And believe it or not, life continued as it always does.

I learned a few lessons during this time away. The most important one was that when you strip away all the drama and don't get involved in any of the bickering and mud slinging, you're left with only two things that matter: the music and the friends you've made because of the music. Everything else is temporary and will eventually pass away. When Barry is gone (hopefully because he finally decides to have a life apart from this crazy world he's in right now) his music will be there forever. He's left all of us with a legacy that will unlock emotions and stir our memories and give us joy for the rest of our lives. And even longer if we pass it on to our children [I've done my part there :>)] and our grandchildren. He's given all of us "the time of our lives" and we really do owe it all to him because its been the gift of his music that has done it for us.

Everything else drowns out the music: the jealousy, the envy, the hatred, the bickering, the gossip, the negative fan behavior. It drowns it all out and after awhile you forget why you were drawn to him in the first place. You forget that your very first Barry friend was a 27 year old fan that introduced you to an entire catalog of music you didn't even know was there and has since become like an adopted daughter. You forget that you spent 2 years waiting to meet a friend from Australia, thinking it might never happen, but it did and you made some wonderful memories together. You forget that you traveled to Canada to spend a week with a friend that you bonded with over Barry's music, a scrapbook, starting a fan club and so much more. You forget that you met a fellow blogger through the music and even when your life felt full, she brought so much more into it that you can't even begin to explain. You forget the generosity of a couple that has given and given and touched your heart in ways that you can't even begin to express. You forget about meeting someone from the UK and listening to her tell you about her most agonizing year, and how Barry's music helped her through it all and knowing at that moment that she really got "it" and hoping you could become friends. You forget the friends who you have laughed with, and cried with, and talked hours and hours about that very music that brought you together.

And most importantly, you forget why you were instantly drawn to someone because you felt a common bond and you couldn't explain it, but it was there. You forget you have been to hell and back with her and still standing in spite of it all and that bond, no matter how much has happened, can never be broken or severed because of the music--when we "listened" and let it speak to our hearts we took hold of a dream that some day we will see fulfilled because we refuse to let go or give up or stop believing. And one day, that mountain will move.

I don't want to forget any longer, and I don't want to let anything drown out the music. It's the music that has moved me, healed me, brought me joy, opened the floodgates of tears, and brought me some of the greatest memories and life experiences I could have ever imagined. It's the music that has enriched my life and given me friends that I turn to when I'm hurting, or lost, or even just need somewhere to vent life's frustrations.

Of course I still have opinions and I still find some fan behavior reprehensible, but it's not why I'm here. I'm here because of the music...and I always will be.

To 2009 and moving forward...
Texas Fan

Christmas is Just Around the Corner!

Just a Word

For those of you who are interested, I've set up another blog where I'll be posting some thoughts unrelated to the Manilow world:

My Mortal Musings

Back to my vacation,
Texas Fan

Taking a Break

For those of you who follow my blog, I am taking a break from the Manilow world. I need some personal time, spiritual renewal and much needed distance from the drama.

Have a great holiday season. Hope to be back in 2009.

Texas Fan

The 80's Album-ALL about the LYRICS

I spent my Thanksgiving holiday listening and re-listening to the 80's CD. Musically, for me, it's a home run. The orchestrations in each of the songs are stupendous. The way Barry takes each one of the songs and makes it his own always amazes me. I feel in love with "I Just Called to Say I Love You" and I absolutely detested the original version of that song. There isn't a song on the CD I skip over. They each have their own flavor and appeal and I would have to agree with YBA that this is more than a remake of 80's songs--it's an original work for all intents and purposes. I have my favorites for different reasons, most involving memories that they evoke. Many because of the uniquely genius arrangements.

But for me, this work is all about the lyrics. When he was being interviewed on QVC, Barry mentioned how important the lyrics were in these songs. He commented on how he looked for the lyric to define the arrangement and the orchestration of each of the songs. So, in that vein, I'm going to do something unusual with my review--choose the lyric that spoke to me. It might be possible the same lyric spoke to Barry (emphasis on the "might be").

Islands in the Stream
"Everything is nothing if you've got no one, and you're just walking the night, slowly losing sight of the real thing ."
One of my favorite lines of all time is "To love is to live." Having someone to love is the real thing.

Open Arms
"Living without you, living alone; this empty house seems so cold."
Loneliness plagues all of us at one time or another. We can even feel lonely when we have someone. We can feel lonely surrounded by people. My father used to say that even though I lived within a few feet of him, he was so lonely without my mother.

Never Gonna Give You Up
"We know the game and we're gonna play it."
I have a friend who is playing games with a guy. They are both adults, and yet they can't seem to tell each other how they feel. It's sad to me, but I guess we all play those games with the people we care about.

Have I Told You Lately
"You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness; ease my troubles, that's what you do."
Kindness is something we all need and something we should all be willing to give to others. When we receive kindness, it eases our pain and trouble and brings happiness to our hearts.

I Just Called to Say I Love You
"But what it is, is something true--made up of these three words that I must say to you..."
Some of us find it hard to say those three words: I love you. We all need to hear them, however; and those three words can make all the difference in someone's life. I say them as often as I can to the ones I love.

Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)
"You're the only one who really knew me at all."
We all wear masks. Usually, there aren't many people who know us. If we find that person we can trust with the good and the bad of who we are, we should never let them go.

Careless Whisper
"Tonight the music seems so loud, I wish that we could lose this crowd."
Sometimes it's hard to get lost in a crowd, and then sometimes you are never truly seen.

Right Here Waiting
"I wonder how we can survive this romance...but in the end if I'm with you I'll take the chance."
Any relationship involving love requires work. It requires commitment and perseverance. It's so much more than just romance.

Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)
"When you get caught between the moon and New York City..."
New York is one of those places that evokes the best of emotions and the most pleasurable memories for me. I'm a city girl at heart and New York brings out the best in me. While this song is about finding love in the most unusual place; to me it is about the love affair I have with New York.

Hard to Say I'm Sorry
"It's hard for me to say I'm sorry..."
It really is hard to say I'm sorry. And honestly, those two words are the most healing words anyone can hear. It means you recognize that you've hurt someone and you want them to know that you are repentant. Hopefully, with that comes forgiveness.

Time After Time
"You're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said..."
I find myself finding it hard at times to express what I'm feeling. The person I am speaking to is not hearing me because they have either closed themselves off to me or they aren't listening. It's frustrating and leaves me feeling like my words (and my feelings) don't matter.

(I've Had) The Time of My Life
"I've had the time of my life...and I owe it all to you."
There are people in my life that have touched me in ways I can't begin to explain. Some are no longer living; some have come and gone; and some still continue to do so every day. This song reminds me of all the wonderful times I've had with the music. I owe that all to Barry--in the good and the bad, I've had the time of my life!

Listening to the lyrics,
Texas Fan

A Thanksgiving Story

(Disclaimer...those with weak stomachs might want to stop here)

About six years ago we had a full house for Thanksgiving. That rarely happened since my brother and his wife usually traveled to my sister-in-law's family's home in Dallas. My father and great aunt with Alzheimer's were both still alive. For those of you who haven't lived with an Alzheimer patient, it's always a challenge and you never know what to expect. This day was like every other day--the unexpected happened.

We were all sitting around the kitchen table after a huge feast. I had gotten up to prepare the whipped cream for the pumpkin pie. I'm not sure when it happened without anyone noticing, but my great aunt got up from the table and wandered off. I guess everyone was talking and since I was busy she was able to slip away.

I digress for a moment. When I got cancer, my friends got together and bought me a bassett hound named Lightning. Lightning was my great aunt's baby. She fed him everything. One Christams she received a box of Godiva chocolates and sat it on the floor. When she went to eat one, the entire box was gone. You guessed it...Lightning actually lived up to his name. He could steal food so fast you never knew he was there.

Back to the story...my great aunt had gotten up from the table. She had decided to avail herself of the ladies room. Not a good thing. Why? Alzheimer's patients frequently lose control of their bowels. So my aunt was wearing a diaper. She got into the bathroom and neglected to shut the bathroom door. When she removed the diaper, Lightning was right there to snatch it up.

Everyone is sitting in the kitchen talking and Lightning comes charging around the corner with my aunt's diaper and slams through the dog door as fast as he can go. And right behind him comes my great aunt, unclothed from the waist down, chasing him and yelling for him to "bring that back!"

After a satisfying meal, some good conversation, and some live entertainment, we thanked God for the blessing of family and a sense of humor that found us laughing at one of life's most embarrassing moments.

Here's hoping you have some wonderful (diaper-free) Thanksgiving memories,
Texas Fan

What Happened to the Music?

I was in my car today driving from store to store and put in the one Barry cd I have in my car. It's a cd that I made after the Dallas concert. The first song that came on was Weekend in New England and I recognized a feeling that had long since been forgotten. The feeling that I used to get when I listened to him sing. I sat in the parking lot and closed my eyes and listened to the music. And as I listened, I wondered what had happened to take away the joy that I once had at the shows in Las Vegas, at the arena concerts, and at home simply listening to the music.

What happened to the music? Simple. It got drowned out by the drama. At some point about a year ago I realized that for so many, it's so much more than the music. It's about vying for attention. It's about jockeying for the number one spot in line. It's about sitting as close as you can as often as you can. It's about stalking not only Barry, but the fans. It's about harassing those who voice their disdain for this type of behavior. It's about name calling, and all kinds of vicious hateful emails and inuendos. It's about grabbing, and pulling and stretching to try and touch the one who so graciously gives and gives of himself for the music. Knowing all of this and witnessing it first hand, tends to detract from the music.

This kind of behavior offers such a negative connotation of fandom. Now, when someone says, "Oh, you're a Barry Manilow fan", it's not uncool anymore, it's downright humiliating. When a group of concierges witness this behavior can you imagine what they are telling their guests when they ask about the show? When the press witnesses this type of behavior, the fans become a cult-like following. When other fans (those who have some sense of balance in their lives) witness this over-the-top behavior they leave the theater in shock.

All of this drama not only distracts Barry, and causes everyone to have a less than positive concert experience; but it causes turmoil in the audience. And when turmoil and dissent occur, the drama overpowers the music. A week of shows always brings new drama from those fans who consistently insist on letting their obcession motivate their actions. What will it take for them to stop?

I don't know about you. But I miss the music.
Texas Fan

QVC-My Review

Last year during the QVC special, a friend and I spent the entire hour yelling at the television for "Chatty Kathy" to stop talking. I'm unhappy to say, this year I was yelling alone. I understand that it's her JOB to sell the product. But seriously...does she have to inform us about every little detail of the song. "Don't you just love Jeff Bridges???" Are you kidding me? We all saw Barry's look on that question.

For some reason, however, he always seems to love these QVC sales events. He loves previewing his new album and singing those songs for the first time live. This time, he got an audience full of fans. And you could tell he was enjoying himself and keying off their excitement.

Now for the important stuff....the songs.

My favorite of the evening was Arthur's Theme. That song was made for him. I won't ever think of the original version again. It was pure heaven listening to him weave those lyrics and that melody. Not only was the performance exemplary, but the arrangement shined. The sax solo blew me away (kudos to Brandon).

I thoroughly enjoy hearing these cover albums when they are first debuted. Barry takes someone else's song and makes it his own. He listens to the lyrics to understand their meaning or the story they tell and he uses that to arrange the song musically to do what he does best, tell a story in the song. Many times, you don't realize what the original song was about until you hear his rendition. It's truly remarkable each time he does it and so many times the songs take on new meaning for me.

For those of us that haven't heard the entire CD, it will be a few more days of waiting. Then, I'll pop it in and begin another journey of "listening" to the music and discovering the absolute genuis that is Manilow.

Right Here Waiting,
Texas Fan

WANTED

WANTED: 200 STRAIGHT JACKETS
Must be various sizes
Will pay for shipping to maximum security facility

WANTED: MAXIMUM SECURITY FACILITY
Must be isolated--at least 2000 miles from Las Vegas, Nevada and Palm Springs, California
Island preferred
Full time security trained to respond to group riots and uncontrollable, unexplained behaviors
Facility must be ready for immediate occupancy

WANTED: Full time Psychiatric Professional
Must be well experienced in psychotherapy and cult deprogramming
Previous experience in addiction intervention and gang behavior a must

Please respond by email to: lockthemupnow@fansforsanity.com

Sometimes life is stranger than fiction,
Texas Fan

Terror in Las Vegas

A special report on fan gang behavior at the Las Vegas Hilton--

Fueled by money, online internet groups, celebrity worship and easy accessibility to said celebrity, fan gangs have flourished at the Las Vegas Hilton and spread across the Atlantic and beyond, thanks to inadequate intervention strategies and frequent gang meetings and strategy sessions online.

In the face of those tepid efforts, fan gangs have exploded, manifesting themselves in the evening hours within the Hilton Theater and at the small, yet intimate bar Tempo adjacent to the theater. Some gang members have also been seen in large groups following, threatening and harassing others on the casino floor. At the same time, gangs have grown more brash and outspoken in a level of obsession that holds many concert goers and non-gang fans in a state of shock and disarray—not to mention fearful for the safety of the celebrity.


GANG CHARACTERISTICS
Most members are proud of their gangs and freely admit membership. Many dress in a style identifying their particular gang and use hand signs or signals. Personal belongings are frequently covered with graffiti and bear the gangs’s logo and the member’s gang name. Individuals on the fringe of gang involvement are reluctant to identify themselves as gang members. They often state that their friends are gang members but they are not. However, rival gang members make no distinction between a gang member and his associates.
Gangs frequently gather in dark areas to avoid being seen. In these locations they will often drink, stalk and harass those who are not like them.

CLOTHING
While clothing alone cannot positively determine individual membership in a gang, color and style serve to identify each gang. Preferred clothes include sparkly tops, evening dresses, clothing brandishing cleavage.
Gang graffiti, gang symbols, messages or names are written or embroidered on jackets, pants and baseball caps, belt buckles, key chains, t-shirts, starter jackets (team jackets).Expensive or gaudy jewelry like heavy gold rope chains, earrings and large rings are favored.

GRAFFITI
Used to identify gangs and mark their ‘turf’ or territory. Can indicate status or power.Many include gang name, nicknames, declaration of loyalty, threats against rival gangs or a description of criminal acts in which the gang has been involved.

RECRUITING
Signs that fans may have joined gangs include crude and elaborate tattoos, females wearing heavy eye makeup and dark lipstick, females congregating in large crowds outside certain areas of the theater, harassing and pressuring those who are not in the gang to join because they are the most influential and powerful.

GANG BEHAVIOR
Fan gangs tend to develop a sense of power manifested by large numbers.These gangs are empowered by secret signs, private telephone conversations, and sticking together to fend off those who try to attack the gang or its leaders.They tend to be rowdy, disrespectful, rude, and generally brash in their fan behavior, especially when spending hours together prior to the scheduled gang activities.

COMBATING GANGS
Success has been achieved in combating these gangs by employing extra security, identifying the gang members by their photos, tracking through use of the internet and other security measures, and utilizing non-gang members who are also fans to apply pressure during gang-related activities. While fan intervention and psychiatric treatment is recommended, it has been found that most will not admit this behavior and claim normalcy.

What we have is a situation out of control. It's like entering a danger zone. Not just for the non-gang fans, but for the celebrity who has become the target of their dangerous behavior. While everyone wants to get rid of these crazy psychopaths, the consensus is that the more they gather together, the more they draw strength in numbers. These fan gangs have become a security issue, a celebrity issue, and a threat to the enjoyment and safety of non-gang fans.

**a parody of an online article on gangs and gang behavior**

Educating the public,
Texas Fan

(special thanks to YBA, Peachy, Just Life, and Redcat for the being the voices of sanity in this crazy world of fans)