Tuesday, November 18, 2008

WANTED

WANTED: 200 STRAIGHT JACKETS
Must be various sizes
Will pay for shipping to maximum security facility

WANTED: MAXIMUM SECURITY FACILITY
Must be isolated--at least 2000 miles from Las Vegas, Nevada and Palm Springs, California
Island preferred
Full time security trained to respond to group riots and uncontrollable, unexplained behaviors
Facility must be ready for immediate occupancy

WANTED: Full time Psychiatric Professional
Must be well experienced in psychotherapy and cult deprogramming
Previous experience in addiction intervention and gang behavior a must

Please respond by email to: lockthemupnow@fansforsanity.com


Sometimes life is stranger than fiction,
Texas Fan

9 comments:

Crissy said...

I think that island would need more than one psychiatrist, and I'd add a crack neurologist as well to perform lobotomies as needed on the worst head cases. I can think of several to put on the waiting list myself.

Anonymous said...

OMG. You make me laugh every time I get on your site. How I look forward to what you are going to put up on this blog! You make my day. Finally, a few people who are still normal in this Manilow world. I taught high school sophomores for 28 years...don't actually have a license to practice psychiatry, but I think I have enough "behavioral" experience to sign up for this job!!! I have never in all my 30 some years of listening to Barry's music and going to concerts seen so many grown women carry on about a man they "truly believe" they own body and soul. It is the strangest thing I have ever witnessed. But, I have to admit, it is rather intriguing day to day--watching how these women manage his health, wealth, sex life, security, hair, fashion etc.etc. etc. I am totally entertained on a daily basis. And, you are the icing on the cake--keeping it all in perspective. Oh, gotta run and see if someone in the group has Barry's menu for the day ready. He likes to eat salads, you know!!!

texas_fan said...

HAHAHA! You guys crack me up! Maybe you should be writing your own blogs. Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Only 200 needed? I'm sure there are more than that needed. But I guess it's a good start.

you begin again.... said...

Hehehehehehhehehehehehehehehe

MUAH!!

Peachy said...

Oh this is good! I love it. I can just hear the song - here come the men today, the ones in the white coats to take you away!

Stephanie said...

I tried my best to write a parody to "Man Wanted" for "Help Wanted"! I just could not think......:)
YBA can take up the task...She is so great at that:)

you begin again.... said...

Geez, Peachy I HAVE that record - Napoleon XIV "They're Coming to Take Me Away" - was the hottest thing on Z100 when I was a kid!

Survivor said...

Priceless!!!!!!!

 
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