What is going to follow won't be pretty. It will make many fans unhappy and cause others to cheer. But it has to be said. So many fans hide in the shadows of the fans who act like they control the Manilow world, for fear of retribution. I never have been afraid of them and as I close out my Manilow posts, I will continue to tell it like it is. Bullies, as we discovered this weekend, do not like to be confronted.
It has always amazed me how these women act like the hotel where Barry is performing is "their domain". They don't like outsiders on their turf and they let it be known over and over again. They do it with vicious glares, hateful looks, constant staring and even physical violence. They scream obscenities across the casino and they puff up their chests like they are the "head chiefs in charge". It's a spectacle to watch and disturbing to experience first hand.
I specifically didn't post very much about my upcoming trip to avoid that very type of "welcome" but it was unavoidable. The group of them were headed toward the theater, undoubtedly to lurk outside the doors because they had heard Barry was rehearsing that day with the "undiscovered" talent who was going to be introduced at the show that night. The minute they saw me, the whispers, stares and I'm sure the gossip chain began. My daughter found it all rather amusing, as so many of our family members do. They can't understand why grown women act like teenagers. Quite frankly neither can I. But I walked past them not saying a word and determined to enjoy my weekend.
The next encounter came in the lobby of the theater the night of the last show. A group of fans started pointing at me, giving me snide looks, and saying things like, "how dare she show her face here; she's got some nerve; are you sure that's her?" I just smiled and shook my head and stood there waiting for my daughter.
Before the show, my daughter went down to the front to say hello to a friend of ours who was sitting up front on the side, and meet someone else sitting behind her. The entire time she was down there their prying eyes were burning a hole in her back. I was watching the entire thing from the upper rows of seats. She didn't say anything to them, however, and returned to her seat. (And before the blonde squad says, "see...she went up to the front to visit"...it's not the same thing. She wasn't marking her territory; she was just saying hi to a friend.)
After the show, we made our way down front so we could take some pictures with our friends and have them snap a photo of us in front of the curtain. I was talking to my friend and my daughter caught one of them glaring at us from the corner of her eye. She turned around, looked her in the eye, and said, "What?" No response. She then said, "What do you want?" Again, no response. She then said her name and said, "What do you want?" Still no response. The only response we got is utter embarrassment for being called out and fear because she NEVER backs up her actions herself. At that point, I told my daughter to drop it and just let it go.
Why did I think it was important to tell this story? Because so many women in the past have come to me with similar stories of harassment. Stares, glares, hateful comments, and even physical shoves. They are too afraid (or what did they say, "classy") to speak up but they have no problem acting as a mob and making people feel threatened and intimidated. Speak out against any one of them and you incur their threats and their wrath. Disagree with them and you get the same. Speak up against fan club mistreatment and they pounce on you with all their fury.
They ALL justify their behavior as "sticking up for their friends" and "their love for Barry". But it is so much more than that. It's a gang mentality that shifts and shuffles them around, making other fans think they are "in charge". The grim reality is they are just fans and they will never get what they truly want.
When people won't listen to reason the only reasonable thing to do is walk away and leave them to the consequences of their own actions.
Walking away and NOT looking back,
Texas Fan
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3 comments:
This kind of crap is why I'm reluctant to get too involved in Barry's fandom. I dealt with that in another fandom years ago and have no desire to repeat the experience. Adult women acting like petulant little teeny-boppers, acting like they owned the fandom and you had to run everything past them first and get permission, acting like they were someone on the inside when they weren't, jealous sniping and trying to one-up you, etc.
I am not one to back down either. If someone messes with me I will step into their face in a heartbeat. I'm a natural redhead (you know what they say, fiery hair fiery temper) with martial arts training LOL, no one intimdates me and I will not be run off!
Several have expressed an interest in meeting up in NY when I go to see Barry's show on Valentines Day, and though they seem okay I honestly don't want to. I just want to see Barry perform and enjoy my time in NY, I don't want to be part of a clique or end up in a confrontation with a clique. I'd rather just keep to myself, I don't want my trip and the joy of finally seeing Barry perform live to be ruined.
It's obvious by the level of silence from the people you spoke of that you must have struck a nerve and exposed the truth behind people who behave badly but call themselves good fans and justify everything in the name of Barry. Pretty sick and twisted if you ask me.
Maybe these people are taking a moment to examine their conscience and realize the hurt and pain they have caused to people. That's way too optimistic to even think they would find any remorse for their behaviors. My bet is that they are declaring that everyone lies about them, it didn't happen and that they are the real victims. If they fail to face the truth then that makes them pathetic human beings. NighDarke said it best that this a reminder of teenage rantings and the games that went along with that time in life.
The sad reality is that they will continue to justify their behaviors. They will insist that the organization loves them and approves of all they do. Yes, it is safe to assume they have a love for them. The love is in the form of a wallet that opens up and buys tickets and merchandise. Sadly, they will never face the music of how many people have reported their behaviors and how hotel staff and store employees did not like them. Those are the people who really saw what went on. They know the truth.
Sorry to hear what you went through at the hands of these people. I cannot refer to them as ladies because their behavior says differently. Your daughter seemed to be the brave one to look them in the eye and call them out. Good for her.
It sounds like it is time to close this chapter and look forward to the time with your family and the happiness they bring you. Best of luck!
I'm so sorry you had to endure that kind of treatment from others just to simply see Barry perform at the Paris for his final shows. The really sad part about this is, it doesn't have to be that way
I think I gave up on that world a while back when I saw how much of my life (aka time) it was consuming. I check back from time to time, but I'm not even on the alt usenet that much anymore. I have too many other opportunities in the world to make more of a difference than that.
Take care and keep smiling.
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