And Then There Was Harmony...

In 2020, just before the pandemic stopped the world, I had tickets to see Harmony in New York. I had waited for years for it to come to the Big Apple and I planned an entire trip around finally seeing it. At the last minute, as is often the case in the Manilow world, it was cancelled due to the director’s sudden appendicitis. Which at the time, seemed odd. But, none the less, it was finished. 

I have loved the music from this play since I first heard him sing “Stars in the Night” in San Antonio, Texas at a concert with Brian D’Arcy. I began my quest to find every single song from the play and absorb the story. A friend of mine even got her hands on some of the practice sessions when the play was in LaJolla, California and I got to listen to the rough cuts of those. I was hooked. 

Fast forward to 2022 and Harmony has finally opened in New York. It’s a story we all need to hear. It’s a story of love and hope and joy in the darkest of times. The music is outstanding and I’m sure the book is great as well. I hope it is met with great accolades and even makes it to Broadway where even more audiences can experience the story of the Comedian Harmonists. 

For now, I’ll have to enjoy the music I have and dream that one day I will get to see the play on stage. 

Here’s to Harmony being a smash! 

Texas Fan

The ever constant fan pursuit

 Yes. I have come out of retirement to comment on the most recent Manilow world fan news. 

In January, an article appeared on Page Six of the NY Times about a group of fans "crashing" Barry's dinner with Bruce Sussman.

"A group of Barry Manilow fans serenaded the singer with his own 1978 tune “Copacabana” as the entertainer and his longtime songwriting partner Bruce Sussman were enjoying dinner at the NYC hot spot."

 

I'm sure he was thrilled as the fans proceeded to start a conga line in the restaurant. "Insert sarcasm".

The “Mandy” singer, 78, was amazed by the crowd’s devotion to the disco classic.

“Barry was giggling and screaming to Bruce, ‘I can’t believe they all know all the lyrics!'” the spy added.

I could never do something like that when a celebrity is enjoying his dinner. Yes. We all feel like we know the man. We love his songs. We enjoy his shows. But he also is a person who values his privacy. Saying hello is ok. I suppose even asking for an autograph is acceptable. But a conga line?

It never ceases to amaze me the lengths people will go to "let Barry know he is loved". What the article doesn't tell you is how long those fans probably have been stalking him all over New York to find out where he eats and the places he frequents. I wouldn't put it past them at all. It also doesn't tell you the conversation he and Bruce had afterwards. Boy, would I have loved to be a fly on the wall in that cab or limo.

With Harmony set to debut soon and Barry and Bruce frequenting New York restaurants, expect more of these shenanigans. After all, he owes his fans everything...and that means he has to put up with these invasions of privacy every day. And. End with sarcasm.

Leave the poor man alone,

Texas Fan

The Elephant in the Room

For years it's been an unspoken speculation in the fan world. Is Barry gay? Pictures have surfaced causing massive speculation by the fans. There have been occasional stories, references in books, and the press has pushed the issue. But Barry has remained close mouthed--refusing to speak of his personal life in no uncertain terms.

Those who have lived in Palm Springs have told friends who are fans that it was common knowledge among the locals. There are stories from those who have worked with him alluding to the fact that he is definitely gay. But still the speculation continued. Until this past week when a story broke in the National Enquirer and got picked up by reputable sources: he had married his manager Garry Kief at a private ceremony at his home a year ago. And Twitter and Facebook exploded. "Manilow married" was trending on Twitter all day on Wednesday. People were retweeting tweets confirming the truth to the story.

Let me say first that I could care less. I never understood why people seem to think that a person's sexual orientation defines who they are. It's just one aspect of their life and it has nothing to do with the work they produce. Of course I have my own views on the subject, but that is irrelevant. They are my views, and my views alone. With that said, the human theater on social media is something to write about. And let the claws come out!

Those who are angry
The gay organizations and those who profess this lifestyle are angry with him for keeping it a secret for years. They voice their frustration with the fact that he kept it hidden and could have helped others who were dealing with "coming out" or being bullied.

Those who continue to live in denial
These fans won't believe it unless it comes from the horse's mouth. I have news--he's never going to say a word about it. If we've learned anything over the years it's that he knows how to keep silent and as he says "his private life is private." And yet, they still believe that until he confirms or denies, it's not true. Living in denial is much easier than facing reality.

Those who feel the need to offer congratulations
News flash. He could care less about his fans' congratulations. If he did, he would have announced it when it happened. He kept it a secret for a reason. Didn't you know? His private life is private. He doesn't need the fans' approval or congratulations. I would think long and hard before mailing a present (or giving him a wedding gift at a Platinum).

Those who feel they were betrayed
Why weren't they told? After all, they are his fans and he has said over and over again that he loves us. Right? If you feel betrayed, you're too invested in his private life and need to take a step back. His private world has nothing to do with his music. News flash--he didn't betray you--he made a decision related to his life, not yours. He doesn't owe you an explanation.
,
Those who champion gay rights
Of course, there are those fans who feel the need to pat him on the back and wish him happiness. Then they proceed to list all the members of their family who are gay. As if that has anything to do with the news. I'm sure we would all prefer that those fans "keep their private life private."

Those whose love was lost
Whether this is true or not (and it most likely is), a bubble has been burst in the hearts of many fans. It's possible he's unavailable. It's possible he is taken. And worse yet, it's possible he prefers the company of men (or a man) over women. It's a very tough pill to swallow for some fans who were convinced he loved them and only them.

Wake up and see the elephant in the room!
Texas Fan


A footnote:

Let me reiterate again that I do not care if the rumors and stories are true. For some, it won't be true until they hear it from his mouth. But what I do care about is the way he and his management have messed with, manipulated, and played with these women's emotions. Knowing full well that as long as these women believe he's "available" they will keep buying tickets and pouring all their money into Platinums, trips, and other Manilow related events hoping against hope that he will notice them. Some might say if these women are gullible enough to believe it, they deserve it. But he has hyped up his sexuality over and over again to his female fans and that is deception.

He and his management team have laughed and joked and even played games with these women over the years. That's just plain cruel. I never liked it and now we know why they found it to be so amusing. He has claimed over and over again to love his fans. That's not my idea of love--you don't intentionally hurt the ones you care about.

UPDATE: Apparently the Manilow camp chose Suzanne Somers to confirm the story. I guess that puts a nail in the coffin of those who are in denial. Smart strategic move on their part. Was the call a set up? You can bank on it!

Mr. Darcy vs Mr. Manilow

The last few days I've spent time reminiscing about the "good ole" days with a good friend. We've been living it up talking, eating and enjoying watching human theater (something I dearly miss from the days at the Hilton).

Today we discovered a movie theater that showed "art" films and decided to take our chances and go see "Austenland". In the first few minutes of the movie, we were the only ones in the theater laughing. Why? The main character was a Jane Austen fan. She lived and breathed Jane Austen. She wore Jane Austen t-shirts, drank out of a proper tea cup from the period, had her walls plastered with photos of Mr. Darcy. Her bedroom was filled with Jane Austen references: the most notable was a life-size cutout of Mr. Darcy. When she walked up and kissed the cutout, I almost fell out of my chair. For those longtime Manilow fans, you will get the reference.

After several "real-life" romances failed, she invests all her money in a Austenland vacation. Actors played the characters from Austen's book and the guests were immersed in the tradition of that time. She went there hoping to find love and realized that it's difficult to discern what's real when you are so consumed with the fantasy.

Here's a rhetorical question--Do you see any correlation within the Manilow world?

And then there's Harmony. A musical show written by Barry and Bruce. It's not a concert. It's a theater production of a play. And yet, those immersed in the fantasy world can't seem to differentiate between the two. Take a look at YBA's review of opening night. It's an example of a fan who "gets it" and knows the difference between reality and fantasy. Read the entire review but especially take note of the final paragraph.

There's fantasy and there's reality. And some Manilow fans just don't see the distinction. I'm glad that I do.

Content in reality,
Texas Fan

And then there was Harmony (an answered prayer)

Harmony opens tonight. It's something that's been a long time coming and I'm happy for Barry. I really am.


For years many of us have been praying for God to move and allow Barry to pursue this dream that was taken away so abruptly. It wasn't just the play we were praying for, or even just Barry. We prayed that the message of Harmony would be received by all those who attend as a reminder that music can overcome all our differences and transform our lives.

Hats off to Barry and Bruce tonight. But for me, it's hats off to God for once again answering the many prayers of fans who were faithful and persistent to bring their requests to God and believe that He would answer our prayers.

God really does care about ALL our needs. Break a leg guys and know that without God this never would have happened.

A grateful prayer warrior,
Texas Fan

When is stalking not stalking

Barry's new project is in full swing and what do you know....a group of fans have taken it upon themselves to "inform" us about the goings on around Harmony. The Facebook page is flowing with all kinds of "insider" information about Barry and Bruce. Of course, a post doesn't go by without the admins mentioning they are in direct contact with B&B and they always run things through them before they post. And of course, in true fan fashion, they won't reveal who they are. They've coined names for themselves like "the Quarterback".

Yesterday, they posted a picture of Barry and Bruce having lunch together. It wasn't long before the sparks began to fly about the picture and the "admin" had to write a long dissertation about how the picture wasn't stalking, it was approved by B&B. Of course, she mentioned that people were concerned about Barry eating so it was meant to show them he's eating. Are you kidding me?

When is stalking not stalking? I guess according to the admins of the Facebook Harmony page it's ok if fans are concerned and it's been approved to post. Stalking is what the paparazzi do with celebrities. It's what crazy fans do when they won't let celebrities have lunch without taking a photo; or chasing down a car with the celebrity in it after a show.

What is wrong with today's culture? We have forgotten what's important and we focus our time and energy on things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. Honestly I can't understand this behavior any more. Not that I ever did, but it's become even more apparent to me the past few years that life is more than swooning over a celebrity.

Then again, what do I know. I'm just a fan who doesn't have the inside track to Barry or his management (thank God). And I've never taken a picture of Barry off the stage.

Some things never change,
Texas Fan

UPDATE: I guess the secret admins found out about the blog and blocked me from their Facebook page. Some people just never grow up. Honestly, I think it happened days ago and I didn't even notice. You really stuck it to me!

Celebrity Obsession

This may not be Manilow related, although on some level I think it is. When did our society become so obsessed with celebrities. It's like the world revolves around their comings and goings: Entertainment Tonight, TMZ and so many celebrity reality shows have turned celebrities into role models. If a celebrity does it, it must be good. If a celebrity speaks out against something they must know what they are talking about. And if a celebrity has an illness, their struggle becomes all the media talks about.

Take Barry's afib for example. Literally hundreds and hundreds of people have afib, but when Barry began talking about it, you can't even imagine the number of people that started posting about how they had it too. Before he came out and became a spokesperson, it wasn't a fashionable ailment to have. Barry dealt with it so it must be talked about.

What prompted this revelation? Angelina Jolie's announcement today that she had the BRCA gene and she had a double mastectomy because of it. Women all over the world have been tested and diagnosed with that gene, there is an organization called FORCE that educates women about it, and doctors over the last ten years have been recommending the test if their patients have a history of breast cancer in their family. But until Angelina announced her "decision" the media rarely covered it. Now, women all over social media are saying they want the test. But here's the deal--if you don't have a history of breast cancer in your family (and I mean a strong history), testing is not necessary or even recommended. How do I know? I'm one of those women, as is my daughter. News flash--it's not about the press coverage you get because of it; it's about a very difficult decision once your know you have the gene; and about what it does to you and to your family.

Recently, Julianna from E TV came public about her mastectomy and made the news because a/ she was a celebrity and b/ she had a reality television show. Women all over the world have dealt with that decision and because a celebrity had to go through it the whole world watched and listened. And not only that, but they had to compare her plight with everyone elses, especially those who were having or had a mastectomy. "Julianna was such a trooper." "Julianna went back to work quickly after hers." "Julianna was so brave." 

What can I say? It just bugs me. Partly because me and my family have faced those same decisions and we kept it within our family. It was a personal struggle and  although we are willing to talk about it, it didn't become a media event. Since Angelina came out about hers, it's fashionable to have the BRCA gene and a prophylactic mastectomy. And I'm sure doctors all over the world will be hearing these words, "Angelina Jolie said I should get the BRCA test."

Disgusted with celebrity obsessions,
Texas Fan

The memories of music

Yesterday when I was walking I had my iPod on shuffle and a Manilow song came on. It's one I listen to often because it reminds me of a wonderful memory--Forever and a Day. In a much simpler time with the best of friends while up close and personal he sang that song. I have pictures of the dance that night--it was Fran. When I hear that song my heart breaks thinking about how much I miss her and how I can't believe she is gone, and while the memory is sad it also reminds to tell everyone in my life how much they are loved.


But not all memories are sad ones. When I hear, See the Show Again, I think back to that very first Las Vegas show when Barry walked up to me and asked me to help him with his jacket. I was shocked and totally surprised. I had no idea this was a regular occurrence. It was my 50th birthday and an absolutely wonderful memory.

Many of them put a huge smile on face. Like, for instance, Islands in the Stream. The week of shows that he debuted that song were some of the best of time in Vegas. My Aussie friend was there and we stayed up all night and shopped all day. Then there were songs that played while my friends were blessed to dance with him, It's Not for Me to Say and Moonlight Serenade. Both those nights gave me great joy watching the expressions on my friends faces while they were dancing AND being able to capture it all in pictures..

Then there was the Atlantic City concert. The first show after Barry's hip surgery. I flew to Philadelphia alone and took the train to Atlantic City. That night was magical and I bought his Greatest Songs of the 60's cd and listened to it on the train to Boston. Every time I hear You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling it reminds me of those many years I spent going back and forth to Boston.

There were firsts: the first time I heard I Am Your Child live, the first time I heard the music of Harmony, and the first time I heard him sing Sandra and Talk to Me at the Hilton. And of course, the first time I saw him perform songs Here at the Mayflower at my very first concert in San Antonio.

One song that makes me grin from ear to ear is Can't Smile Without You. It is my daughter's song. I sang it to her when she was growing up, she sings it to E. When we saw Barry in Dallas, as always, he sang that song. It was again a very special moment.

And finally, Here's to Las Vegas. That song brings back memories of the best of times and of the last show I saw at the Paris with my daughter. That songs evokes the happiest of times and reminds me that those years brought into my life new friendships; some are still thriving and others have since moved on. But while we were whooping it up in Vegas we definitely had THE BEST OF TIMES.

I'm sure everyone has their own list. Songs that evoke happy memories and even sad ones. But we will always have the memories, and for that I am exceedingly grateful.

To the memories of the music,
Texas Fan

When the good times come again

Today is two months since my friend Fran's passing and with baseball season in full swing, I have to say I miss her. We used to have a friendly Rangers/Yankees rivalry on Twitter and it made the season more fun for both of us. Every day brings another memory of her and the things about her that always made me smile. Those times, however, are gone. In an instant they were ripped away and left me with only memories.

These days memories are all I have of Fran, as it is with many in the Manilow world who knew her. But life goes on and we can't focus on the past, or what was or would have been, but on the future and hope and pray that the good times come again.

The good times...I certainly had some of those. Even with all the fan drama, those good times always outweigh the bad. I often wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't been to that show in Vegas on my birthday in 2006.

My life would certainly have been different. Thinking back, I  made a wise investment. I'm not talking about the shows, or the brief Manilow moments that happened during the shows and at Tempo. Those were nice but they don't last and faded away when I left Vegas. What did last? The friendships I made at the shows, online with this blog, and through the Barrynet. I can't put a value on them except to say they are priceless. We've had some ups and downs; we've had some losses. I've lost some friends and gained some others. I've learned the value of true friendship, the heartache of betrayal and weathered the vicious attacks of bullies.

My prayer today is that those good times will come again and that we will be able to make some new memories. The music drew us together but the friendships kept us coming back time after time. I'm glad, however, that those friendships weren't all about the music, but about shared joy and sorrow that transcends the world of Manilow.

Til the good times come again, even if it is away from the music of Manilow,
Texas Fanilow

Barry used social media before it was called social media

Barry--a social media pioneer. I bet that's one title that would make heads turn (especially his). But you have to admit, this fan world grew and prospered because of their effective use of social media. If you think about it, it's more than just a little amazing.

First there was the telephone Hotline
Years ago, you called a number to find out the latest Manilow news and hear personal messages from Barry. That was before email, but it served the purpose of keeping the fans in touch with Barry's upcoming events, conventions and concerts.

...then the Barrynet
The Barrynet was my first venture into the Manilow fan world. Someone I met at my very first show at the Hilton told me about it. Until then, I had no idea it even existed. I jumped onto the message board and began interacting with other fans. From that communication I made friends all over the world and even met them in Las Vegas for some shows. Since then those friendships have grown beyond just the Manilow world. All because of a simple message board on the Barrynet. It was on the board that many of us got together and started a fan club "I Am Your Child BMFC"and a fan club website. I met so many great friends through this fan club.

...then the Hotline messages
When email became popular, fans were connected using email hotline messages. If you signed up for the emails or joined the fan club, these arrived in your inbox frequently to keep you posted on the goings on of Barry and his fan club.

...then there were blogs
Once blogs became popular, I met even more friends. I will never forget discovering Scooter's blog one day and all the information she provided about the early Manilow years. Then I started my own blog along with many others and my circle of friends (and enemies) began to widen. I kept my blog for years reporting about the shows, sharing memories and expressing my opinion (even though it wasn't popular with many of the fans).

...then there was MySpace
MySpace put me in touch with even more friends and allowed us to post messages to Barry on his page, even send private messages as well. The interaction became even more social, being able to post pictures and comments on other fan pages.

...then the Manilow Network
The Manilow Network was created and fans were given the opportunity to create their own pages, add friends, and communicate back and forth by leaving messages, posts and adding photographs to their profiles. This also became a great place to read show reviews and see photographs taken by fans during the show.

...and then there was Facebook and Twitter
Barry and his team finally dove in deep when creating a Twitter account and Facebook Fan page. This enabled them to connect with so many more fans by taking full advantage of social media. The notes from Barry on his page went a long way in connecting him back with his fan base as he used to be in the beginning. It was a safe way for him to communicate his thoughts and announce explanations for cancellations. As the page grows, more fans are connected and adding new friendships.

I'm grateful to Barry and his team's attempt to connect his fans with him and with one another. I have made lifelong friendships, met people I might never have met, and found strength from them during the most difficult times in my life.

Hat's off to a great social media pioneer,
Texas Fan

A Fanilow Fan Frenzy

I don't think I could add anything to this. Except to say this did not shock me in the least. Some things in the fan world never, ever change.

Those Fanilows sure are feisty!

Barry Manilow’s loyal fans were out in full force on a recent night at the restaurant TAO, where the legendary 69-year-old singer dined after performing nearby in “Manilow on Broadway.”

“Several groups of women were beside themselves trying to get to the table for photos and autographs,” a witness at the midtown hotspot told us. “TAO management had to keep fans at bay to allow the group a quiet meal.”

That said, a 15-year-old girl sitting near Brooklyn-born Manilow and his group managed to “slip by” management and ask Manilow for a photo, which he “gladly” posed for, the source said.

Just how many photos do you need?

Not surprised,
Texas Fan

A fitting tribute

Garry Kief posted this on the alt-fan site:

"Fran's photographs were a reflection of the love and goodness that was in her heart. All of us at STILETTO would look forward to what she had to share with us and with friends around the world. Though she might be gone in body, her heart and soul live on in the photographs that brought us all such joy. Thank you to everyone who has honored her memory by your contribution to the Manilow Music Project. Someday, some kid, somewhere, will bring music to the world because of you...and because of Fran."

As I said earlier today; Fran had CLASS. That's something that is a rare commodity in the Manilow fan world these days. It's nice to know that we (her friends) aren't the only ones that recognized it. We should all take a page from her book.

Today there were posts on Barry's Facebook page about "saving the bamms for us when we come next week." Fran would have scoffed at that behavior. As I said, she was one classy lady.

The fan world will miss her and I will miss her wit, her wisdom and her candor.

Rest in peace Fran and know that you left a part of yourself with each of us.
Texas Fan

For those of you who wish to honor Fran by making a donation to the Manilow Music Project here is the direct link:

https://secure.commonground.convio.com/ManilowMusicProject/donations/

So close and yet so far

Like many of you, this past weekend was spent remembering Fran Galiardo. This morning the words to that song came to mind, "so close and yet so far". That described my relationship with Fran. We were close through social media, yet we lived so very far apart and never got the chance to meet.

The first time I saw Fran was at a Philadelphia concert years ago. Although I didn't know it at the time, I was sitting just a few seats to her right. When Barry picked someone to dance with, he chose Fran. Not knowing her, I snapped this picture. It wasn't until just recently that we realized we were both there and the picture of the dance girl was her. You can imagine her excitement since she didn't know there were any photographs out there taken by others. I happily emailed her a copy.

Then she shared some of her own pictures of that moment with me. I like to think of her that way--happy and smiling.

That's the thing with the Manilow world--many of us are close (we know about each other's families, their struggles, and we pray for them), but yet so far. We never get the chance to meet in person, but it doesn't mean we don't consider them friends. Friendships were formed because of Barry but they grew because we opened our lives and shared them with others.

I hope we all take a moment and tell those friends how much they mean to us. I wish I had told Fran, because now I can only tell others. She made me smile every single time I talked to her. We shared a baseball rivalry, we both adored our children, and of course, we loved Barry's music. 

I hope one day to meet those who are "so close and yet so far"...but until then I want you to know that YOU have changed my life in more ways than I can even enumerate.

Love across the miles,
Texas Fan

Why I'm a Manilow Fan

I wrote this post back in July of 2011. Sadly I never got to meet Fran in person. She passed away this past week. But although we only communicated through social media and email we shared many laughs, baseball stories, Manilow stories and I was with her during her son's college process. She was a proud mother, a loving wife and an amazing friend. I pray that God will give her family comfort during this time and that we all never miss another opportunity to tell our loved ones how much they mean to us. 

I've been involved in the Manilow fan world in depth since 2006. My first encounter with fandom came at my first show in Las Vegas on my birthday 5 years ago. It was a positive experience. So much so, that I'm still close with that fan today (even though she's my daughter's age). Since that first encounter, I've had many other ones. Some good, some not so good, and some absolutely horrible. I've made some good friends, made some enemies, had enemies turn into friends, and choose to ignore the rest. I've been disillusioned and discouraged by fan behavior in the past and vented here on my blog numerous times.

Every now and then, after being away from the fan world, it happens. My faith in the "nice" factor is restored and I realize that not all fans are jealous, petty and vindictive. Tonight was one of those nights. Two fans (whom I've never met in person, by the way) took time out of their festivities tonight in Vegas to meet my daughter who was there for the weekend. She has heard me talk so much about the fan world, and one of these ladies actually took time out of her busy life to mail my daughter's wedding cake top to her two years ago (again, without us ever having met).

Barry has said often that his fans are unique. I've said that the friendships I've made over the last five years are priceless. But tonight, I also learned that there really is something special and unique about Manilow fans. When you meet these type of fans, it makes you proud to say that Barry actually brought us together.

Thanks Fran and Susan for welcoming Jillian into your world tonight. I hope some day to meet you in person, but for now, I treasure your friendship.

Tipping my hat to Barry (for bringing us all together),

Texas Fan

And then there was Harmony!

Since I've been trying to be a good girl and walk every day, I've found that listening to musicals makes the time go by and distracts me from the boring task. A few days ago I listened to a recording that was made for the cast (the one at the LaJolla) and there are so many songs we haven't heard yet. Every single song seems to lead to the next and so clearly tells the story without a single word of dialogue.

I've always believed that the songs we have heard so often--Every Single Day and Stars in the Night were masterpieces of music meshing so well with the lyrics. But listening to the entire musical score just makes me want to see it on the stage even more.

There is this one song in particular that I absolutely love--it's fun and very poignant. The doctor in the group is telling his parents that he's not happy and wants to spend his life singing. His parents, of course, were not overjoyed about his decision. They came up with every excuse in the book for him NOT to do it. But at the end of the song, he asks them, "Don't you want me to be happy?" His parents couldn't fight that question. And at the end of the song, you felt both the parents and the singer's angst over the decision. He wanted to do it, but he knew it would disappoint them. They wanted him to be happy but they were afraid it would be throwing away his education and his future earning potential.

It's songs like these that make me want to shout from the rooftops that this play MUST be seen. The emotions in the lyrics and music and the story of men who found their passion and determined to pursue it, no matter the cost, make it timely and inspirational.

It's my prayer (and has been for many years) that we will see Harmony very soon. And when we do, it's going to be a huge hit, on the level of Les Miserables or Phantom of the Opera. Until then we wait (not patiently but with anticipation!)

And then there was Harmony!
Texas Fan

How much would you pay for a handshake?

With Barry in New York and ticket prices at an all-time high, I've been pondering this question.

I know how much I paid ($250 more than once) and at that time it seemed sane and logical. I rationalized spending that kind of money as "my due" after raising my children and taking care of my father and great aunt for so many years. When I think back on that time I wonder if the expense was truly worth the cost. If you can put a price on a handshake or a glance from a celebrity who is merely an entertainer/actor, that's a high price to pay for a few seconds of contact. But then again, some would argue that those few seconds give them great joy.

Does the joy last? On the contrary, many fans experience what they call PMD (post Manilow depression) after attending the show. The thrill is over, the music has ended, and you go home. But that's not where it ends. It's an addiction for some; they go back time and time again to get their fix. 

Don't get me wrong. The money I spent during those few years of Vegas shows provided me with some amazing entertainment and some long lasting friendships. You can't devalue that aspect of the expense. Granted I wasn't there every single night and when I was there, I didn't see every show from the front row or the stage. I got a few handshakes and one encounter putting on Barry's jacket. I got to witness and photograph dances with close friends and watch the joy they had while doing it. Was it exciting at the time? Sure. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. But the thrill never lasted and it certainly didn't provide me with permanent joy or happiness.

So really...how much is a handshake worth? Or a glance or a smile? Or a dance? Or a photograph?

Is it worth compromising time with your family or sacrificing the relationship within a marriage? Is it worth spending your retirement and closing out your 401k to pay for the shows and the trips? Is it worth accumulating mounds of credit card debt? Is it worth losing all sense of reality and living in a fantasy world?

Would I pay $250 (or even $700) for another front row seat? Absolutely not. It's the same show, the same songs, and the same jokes. I can experience that from the $20 seats. It's also worth mentioning that the longer he stayed in Vegas and performed across the country, the contact he once had with the audience has diminished. The stages got higher and the on-stage seating disappeared. The dances and other interaction stopped. There is no longer an opportunity to sing on stage with him, dance or interact one-on-one. Many have speculated about the cause of these changes: did the frenzied fan behavior cause him to draw back? Only he knows. A once accessible entertainer has become a celebrity on stage.

Some might say I'm jealous of those who continue to go. Not at all. I am blessed beyond belief and I value those real relationships with my family and friends. Call me a cynic, but I've heard so many stories and witnessed personally the destruction of lives because of an obsession with a man who sings on a stage and knows how to entertain and move his audience with his music.  That music does create a common bond with other fans that often blossoms into friendships. But for me, that's where it ends. 

Sadly, that's not where it ends for those who have paid a very steep price for their fandom. 

Finding joy with family and friends,

Texas Fan

I'm Back!

It's been over a year since I last posted on this blog. Much has happened in my life to push out the Manilow world altogether, but that doesn't mean I don't reminisce often about the good times and great friends I made during those years.

One of those friends told me the other day that she missed my blog (this one's for you!) and I have to say that I miss writing it. Even though I'm not involved in any of the craziness in the fan world any more, I follow the news about Barry and I enjoy reading about his success. That doesn't mean I'm ready to jump in with both feet, but there are things I would like to comment on periodically and this is the best place to do it. My blog. My opinion. My thoughts.

I've been listening to some of my Manilow favs as I attempt to exercise every day and those songs bring floods of memories back, some good and some not so good. But as we all know, with time, the bad ones fade and the good ones tend to take over. I'm happy to say that I can look back on that time in my life now and smile. I made some incredible friends, had some wonderful times, and always loved the music.

Will I be going to New York or any other venue to see him? No. I've closed that chapter. I have a grandson to focus my travel time on and a family that has become more important to me than they ever were before. So I'll be traveling back and forth to my daughter's home and spending my vacation time and my money on my sweet little guy. My priorities have definitely changed.

Will I ever see my old friends and meet some new ones that I've only known online? I certainly hope so. I found out in 2012 who my friends were and I was surprised at the ones who hung in there and rose to the surface when I needed them the most. The friends embody the good Manilow memories.

Will I go to the opening of Harmony if it makes it to the stage? That's a resounding YES! The songs from that musical are some of the most inspiring music and lyrics I have ever heard. I will move heaven and earth to get there if the rumors are true.

Until the next time (and/or the music moves me),
Texas Fan

It's ALL about the music

2012 has arrived and so has the end of my Manilow Musings. I was listening to a Streisand song on the drive back to Dallas last week and she was talking about the song we all sing on New Years's Eve, Auld Lang Syne and what it means: for the sake of old times. So, for the sake of old times, I'm going back to the beginning--the first time I ever heard Barry sing live and what the music meant to me.

I had just finished chemotherapy and treated myself to the concert in San Antonio in the middle of the summer outside. I was about 12 rows back and had no knowledge or information about the Manilow fan world. I was suspended in time by the Mayflower music and the few songs he did from Harmony that I had never even heard before. Thus began my real love affair with the magic of Manilow's music.

It will be nice to return to that magic. To coin a line from "Julie and Julia" and apply it here--I'm in love with the Manilow in my head; and the Manilow in my head truly is ALL about the music. When I listen to Here at the Mayflower, Paradise Cafe, Harmony and most recently 15 Minutes I I am reminded of why I began this journey and why, even though I will no longer be involved in the fan world, I will always and forever be in love with the music of Manilow.

After all, it truly is "music too magic to end"!

Over and out,

Texas Fan

A Manilow Musings Q&A

Since, over the last few days, I've been asked questions (either directly or indirectly) about my blog and its contents, I thought it might be fitting to end 2011 with a little Q&A and put all of this to rest once and for all. The answers might not satisfy but they will be honest and truthful and perhaps explain why for the past 5 years I have spoken up even when I have been personally attacked.

When did all of "this" begin?

By "this" I don't mean the blog or loving Barry's music. It all began for me on the Barrynet when a group of fans began to monopolize the posts by talking over and over again about how "hot" Barry was, adding sexual innuendos and literally begging him to wear leather.

Why did this behavior bother me so much?

It bothered me because I felt the Barrynet was a public board that anyone could read and it was casting a negative light on Barry and his fans. It also bothered me because at the time we were trying to raise awareness for our fan club charity and for a scrapbook that we were making for a friend who had passed away and they monopolized the message board.

What happened when I spoke up against it?

I was attacked personally, in emails, and publicly on the message board. It was clear that if anyone spoke out against them, you would be attacked. I just couldn't tolerate that type of bullying and I began to speak out against it on the Barrynet and on my blog. And thus began the war between me and these group of fans.

What makes you so knowledgeable about the fan world (this one comes from Kay's comment)?

I think this was possibly derogatory but I'll answer it anyway. I never claimed to be the expert on the fan world, just the fan world I've witnessed. I've attended enough shows and been to Vegas often enough to witness this type of negative fan behavior over and over again: stalking, harassment, bullying, and spoken to enough Manilow employees and hotel staff to know what goes on before, during and after a show.

You don't call the things you say in your blog about fans bullying and hateful (another question courtesy of Kay)?

No. I don't. They are simply reports of this type of behavior and my opinion about how wrong it is. If you speak out against bullying does that make you a bully? The obvious answer is no. I guess you could see these posts as hateful, but I see them as exposes bringing the truth out into the open.

Do you have a problem with fans gathering at the front of the stage to visit (another question from Kay)?

No problem at all. But, when it's obvious they are "marking their territory" and glare at anyone who dares to encroach on it, I do.

Why can't I just be friends with these women?

Let's see. I have tried. Actually one of the group approached me two years ago and attempted to make peace. I agreed and made every attempt to call a truce. But, that was short lived when I posted something they disagreed with and assumed it was related to them. That's the problem with these fans--you can't cross them or disagree with anything they say or do. If you do, you incur their wrath.

Why can't you just live and let live?

Why can't they? I had every intention of "living and let living" when I came to the shows in Vegas but it was clear they did not. Besides I'm not the type of person that bows down to bullies and someone had to speak out against them. They will claim I do not know them so I can't say anything about them. But I do know how they treated me and have treated other fans. I have had my fill of it all and as Barry often says, "sometimes all it takes is one voice" to create change.

Why, after all this time, am I ending the posts?

It's time. After the last show in Vegas I realized that I no longer want to waste my time on these fans. They will never change because they have convinced themselves and others that their behavior is perfectly normal. (And pigs fly too!). I no longer care to have any connection with the Manilow fan world (other than the few close friends I have made). It's time to shut this door in my life and move on.

So...Happy New Year to my loyal readers and to those who visit here just to see what I'm saying about them (and their friends). I can't say it's been fun, but I can say it's been REAL and I have gained a good education about fandom and how it works. The psychology of it all is fascinating!

Goodbye 2011...Hello 2012 (free from Manilow fan drama)!

Texas Fan

What happens in Vegas...

...isn't going to stay in Vegas this time. Of course, what would you expect from Vegas and spending the weekend around Barry's fans? I have to say it's never surprising the amount of drama that seems to follow the fan world and you can always expect to witness human theater in its rarest form.

What is going to follow won't be pretty. It will make many fans unhappy and cause others to cheer. But it has to be said. So many fans hide in the shadows of the fans who act like they control the Manilow world, for fear of retribution. I never have been afraid of them and as I close out my Manilow posts, I will continue to tell it like it is. Bullies, as we discovered this weekend, do not like to be confronted.

It has always amazed me how these women act like the hotel where Barry is performing is "their domain". They don't like outsiders on their turf and they let it be known over and over again. They do it with vicious glares, hateful looks, constant staring and even physical violence. They scream obscenities across the casino and they puff up their chests like they are the "head chiefs in charge". It's a spectacle to watch and disturbing to experience first hand.

I specifically didn't post very much about my upcoming trip to avoid that very type of "welcome" but it was unavoidable. The group of them were headed toward the theater, undoubtedly to lurk outside the doors because they had heard Barry was rehearsing that day with the "undiscovered" talent who was going to be introduced at the show that night. The minute they saw me, the whispers, stares and I'm sure the gossip chain began. My daughter found it all rather amusing, as so many of our family members do. They can't understand why grown women act like teenagers. Quite frankly neither can I. But I walked past them not saying a word and determined to enjoy my weekend.

The next encounter came in the lobby of the theater the night of the last show. A group of fans started pointing at me, giving me snide looks, and saying things like, "how dare she show her face here; she's got some nerve; are you sure that's her?" I just smiled and shook my head and stood there waiting for my daughter.

Before the show, my daughter went down to the front to say hello to a friend of ours who was sitting up front on the side, and meet someone else sitting behind her. The entire time she was down there their prying eyes were burning a hole in her back. I was watching the entire thing from the upper rows of seats. She didn't say anything to them, however, and returned to her seat. (And before the blonde squad says, "see...she went up to the front to visit"...it's not the same thing. She wasn't marking her territory; she was just saying hi to a friend.)

After the show, we made our way down front so we could take some pictures with our friends and have them snap a photo of us in front of the curtain. I was talking to my friend and my daughter caught one of them glaring at us from the corner of her eye. She turned around, looked her in the eye, and said, "What?" No response. She then said, "What do you want?" Again, no response. She then said her name and said, "What do you want?" Still no response. The only response we got is utter embarrassment for being called out and fear because she NEVER backs up her actions herself. At that point, I told my daughter to drop it and just let it go.

Why did I think it was important to tell this story? Because so many women in the past have come to me with similar stories of harassment. Stares, glares, hateful comments, and even physical shoves. They are too afraid (or what did they say, "classy") to speak up but they have no problem acting as a mob and making people feel threatened and intimidated. Speak out against any one of them and you incur their threats and their wrath. Disagree with them and you get the same. Speak up against fan club mistreatment and they pounce on you with all their fury.

They ALL justify their behavior as "sticking up for their friends" and "their love for Barry". But it is so much more than that. It's a gang mentality that shifts and shuffles them around, making other fans think they are "in charge". The grim reality is they are just fans and they will never get what they truly want.

When people won't listen to reason the only reasonable thing to do is walk away and leave them to the consequences of their own actions.

Walking away and NOT looking back,

Texas Fan