Saturday, August 9, 2008


My life consists of countdowns--
One week until a family reunion.
Two weeks until a long awaited road trip across the country.
70 days until my next trip to Las Vegas and a punch of joy.
84 days until the final deadline of one of my yearly projects.
An unnumbered amount of days until I finish my book.

And an even more unnumbered amount of days until I finally move to Boston.

And while the countdowns continue
I’m missing the process
I’m forgetting about the moments
I’m concentrating so much on the future that I miss the present.

We all have them--countdowns. Let’s wait until our kids are in school and I’ll go back to work. Wait until our kids are in college and then I’ll finally have time to do the things I have wanted to do for myself. Wait until the next vacation, holiday, and as we all experience, the next trip to see Barry, to relax and have some fun. Wait until I retire and then we can finally travel. And while the countdowns tick away, the day to day passes us by with regularity.

It occurred to me this morning while watching the traffic at stoplights outside of Starbucks that a huge amount of our lives are spent waiting. And I felt such a sense of great loss. What moments had I missed while waiting for all those countdowns to end? And what if these moments right now are my last? What if tomorrow never came? What would I have missed or neglected to appreciate today?

The future may be what keeps us going, but what about the present? It wasn’t too much long ago that I was in high school waiting to start my life. How many moments are missed while waiting for all the stars to align and the moment to be perfect? And once we get there, will we hardly enjoy it before moving on to the next countdown?

Today…I’m ignoring the countdowns and living in the moment.
Texas Fan


joanne said...

I know exactly what you mean. I think my kids keep me in today. When my mind is wandering to tomorrow, next month going to see the musical, 3 months seeing Barry at the O2, next year going back to Vegas my kids bring me back to the here and now often with a heavy bump!! Sometimes now is okay and sometimes it isn't. As long as I don't miss those now times related to my kids I'm fine and that I try my best not to do.
But like you my life is full of countdowns!

you begin again.... said...

You just taught a lesson that most people don't learn unless their lives are on the line. Let's hope that some of your readers pay attention.

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