Sunday, April 27, 2008

Border Train

This has been a Mayflower week for me. And this song seems to echo the feelings that have flowed in and out of my head at moments of tremendous frustration and moments of great joy. The ebb and flow of emotions and the shear drama in life at times makes me want to "hop on that train" tonight.

Got nobody left to listen to
Got no promises to keep
Something's gotta be out there
Find a world for me out there
No more livin' half asleep

There are days when I feel that my life has passed me by. There are dreams that I had when I was younger. You wake up one day and 50 years have passed and you wonder where the time has gone. My kids used to watch a cartoon called Rugrats and one of the characters used to say he had sponsatilities (aka responsibilities). It's not all bad to have those, but sometimes you find yourself living your life for everyone else (your kids, your husband, your aging family members). Your "me" time tends to get pushed to the back burner until you find yourself asking where "me" went.

There's an island in the misty night
Little platform by the track
I dreamed I saw a light for me
A face, a place so right for me
That I'd never think of lookin' back

Most of us have those dreams. Dreams that we had when we were a kid. Dreams however, tend to take a back seat to reality. And we compromise, or settle when we should hold on to them tightly. We should always be moving forward toward that "place that's right" for us.

Through the shadowland
Like a silver band
Got no kind of plan
I ride the border train
Somewhere new to be
Light the way for me
Moon and memories
I ride the border train

It's those elusive dreams that seem to be just within our grasps but out of reach that tend to haunt us. That train just keeps traveling on the "border" of our dreams and we need someone to light the way for us.

There'll come a time
With no goodbyes
When I'll simply grab
That border train
And at journey's end
They will all be real
My lovers and friends
And I swear to God
There's time for me
And I'll live the life I waited for!

Tonight I believe with all my heart it is finally "time for me" to "grab that border train" ...forgetting what lies behind and pushing forward to what lies live the life I've waited for!

In the arms of an angel and God,
Texas Fan

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